Have you heard the phrase “the hunter became the hunted”? That’s my Alabastron story. I always knew I was okay, just minor issues here and there. So when my sister in-law told me about Alabastron I thought about my sister and I knew this program would sort her. In my head, I was seeking help for her. Lo and behold! I was the one who needed ‘sorting’! Everything at the Open Day resonated with what I was going through!
At that time, I was in a lot of emotional and psychological pain. I was angry at myself, people around me, my spouse and even God. I felt misunderstood, judged, guilty, lonely, insignificant, unnoticed, unwanted, unworthy and unloved. I had no self-identity. In fact, I had even stopped looking at myself in the mirror! I was honestly looking for an end to my pain. I even had suicidal thoughts.
I remember my spiritual mentor telling me one day that he had seen me being eulogized in my own burial! Talk about a dead woman walking! This was a confirmation to me that I was just awaiting physical death. All this while, few people, if any noticed that I was struggling. [...] Read More